Baby steps

Because I love coming up with ideas and starting things, and I’m not nearly as good at managing or finishing things (no one can do everything well! :), I tend not to really think through everything that’s involved in a project before I dive in.

Plus, when I believe God is telling me to do something, I usually go forward and assume that he’ll give me whatever help I need. Sometimes that works well, but sometimes I run into problems because I end up with too many things to do at the same time. And then I get flustered.
Now, the problem may be that I’ve misinterpreted what God was saying and that I should never have started the project. More likely, the problem is that I’ve heard what he wants me to do, but instead of waiting for him to make it happen, I’ve rushed ahead to try make it happen myself. Sometimes I just need to slow down and wait until God supplies whatever I need to make it happen without a lot of stress (people to help, time, money, etc.).

On the other hand, Noah did have to build the ark; it doesn’t say anything about God supplying carpenters or holding a hammer. There are times I need to let go of other things that may be filling up the time I could spend on the project - often, it’s habits that have crept into my life - like mindlessly watching TV or reading the paper.

This past December, I said, “I know I have to write a memoir next year, and the only time I can do it is Jan/Feb/Mar,” so I’ll do it then. And I pictured myself writing my memoir every day, and it was all great.

Except… I have a number of columns to write. And I have Marketplace Int’l coming up in late January. And I’m speaking at a church in Unionville Jan. 20th. And I’m reading at Casa Loma Feb 5th. And we still have lots to do to get Hot Apple Cider to the printer by Feb, 7th and promoted so that we sell lots of books when it comes out in May (or late April).

So, how realistic was I in thinking I would be able to write my memoir in Jan/Feb/Mar?

Not very.

What I was really doing was saying, “Writing my memoir is important and I know I have to do it, so somehow I’ll make it happen” - but it was only a hopeful “resolution” without a concrete, workable plan for accomplishing it, and not a real “goal.” And it died the death that happens to most hopeful but impractical resolutions.

When I realized there was no way, my first reaction was to become frustrated and depressed. I’ve blown it again. I’m a failure. I’ll never get any writing done.

But last Friday, I blogged about how to set good goals. And immediately after, I suddenly realized I was being less than objective about my own goals.

So, today I spent a couple of hours using the Google calendar tool, which I love but hadn’t been using lately (out of sight, out of mind with me!), to create a calendar where I set up a weekly schedule with 20 hours to write (including columns, blogs, and memoir), 15 hours to working on promotion and other details for Hot Apple Cider, 10 hours for working on The Word Guild, and specific times for getting some exercize, doing a bit of cleaning in my house, talking to my husband, etc.

My next duty is to decide what to out into those time slots on a day-to-day basis, and keep myself from thinking I can do two or three times as much as is humanly possible. But I do feel better. I may not get a memoir done by the end of March. But at least I’ll know that what I have done was what I needed to do.